Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize