it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
