and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
