i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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