forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
