I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
