pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize