it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
