I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
