I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
