Can Purell be used as lube?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
