what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
