So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
