I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
