you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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