sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
