My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
