Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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