I think my vagina is haunted
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
