i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize