she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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