: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
