I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
True but thats because hes a fetus.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Operation Purity has been aborted
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
