i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
