She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
