The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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