I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
