I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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