Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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