oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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