Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
