Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
