Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
