What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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