I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
