I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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