i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
