Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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