having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize