dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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