May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
