she looked like the before picture.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
