some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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