look no pants
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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