I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
