Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
