walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
my liver is dry heaving
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
