Quick, to the slutcave!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She's just so happy...and so naked.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
