So drunk, too bad you don't want this
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
