I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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