Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i out mim tonsoeep
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