Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
