You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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