In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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