so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize