i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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