If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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