Four minutes until I can fart!
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
