And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
