I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
