they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
