I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize