SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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