And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
