we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
