No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
