I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize