I wish I could punch you in the face.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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