I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
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