im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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