I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
