nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
