Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
