You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize