Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
