love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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