If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
