Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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