I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
