barbara walters just said penis...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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