can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
