Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
